Well. I made it. Finally. It seems as though my journey hardly began and yet I look back and I feel as though I have been traveling forever- which three weeks spent with no knowledge of where to sleep each night can do. I look back on my backpacking experience and feel as though I have gained a wealth of knowledge about what kind of traveler I am. I know how much spontaneity I can handle- and that I get crabby when I haven't eaten.
More than that, I learned about myself in a new way. Traveling on my own challenged me to think outside of my comfort zone: because I didn't have one. I had to rely on the kindness of strangers and trust that everything was going to work out. If anything I gained the knowledge of believing in a network of human kindness.
Now, I am going to go off on a tangent now, but I promise I'll connect it in the end. Have you ever read The Two Towers, the second part of the Lord of The Rings trilogy by J.R.R. Tolkien? There is a part in the book where Sam is watching the Elephants, and in particular the Easterlings, or the men from the East. In the book one of the Easterlings falls down dead in front of Sam and whereby he begins to have an internal dialogue about the origin of the man. Was he innately Evil? Was he forced to participate in this war? Or did he choose to fight for Sauron by choice? In addition, in the book For Whom the Bell Tolls by earnest Hemingway, the setting takes place in Spain during guerilla warfare and the main character wonders what the relationship with his "enemy" would be like had there been different circumstances. Very well his enemy could have been his friend. That under a different setting he could have been invited into his home for dinner, welcomed as a friend. I mention these books as there is an innate human connection between us all. In instances such as war, it is easy for a man to overlook that connection and see a grander enemy than simply the man standing across from himself. I believe that society defines the differences between us as a wall in which cannot be crossed; however, I have come to see that it is our actions that define who we are.
While traveling I saw the kindness and compassion of strangers, whether letting us sleep on a floor, helping with directions, or just simply trying to do their best to understand english. I have also learned that no problem is too large to overcome. No matter what tomorrow is another day and your problems today will end with the beginning a new refreshing moment.
There is an illusion of permanence to pain and suffering. It is easy to think that our emotions control our experiences and that what we are feeling will last forever. That is simply not true. However, it is hard to reason with the mind when the problem at hand seems like too much to control. I speak of this because I know that culture shock is going to hit me. It will probably hit me harder than I am willing to accept. However, I know that when the home-sickness, cold weather, roommate problems, and homework overload begin to set in that I should invest in the things that matter. That I should invest in the people around me. Whether fellow study abroad students or the diverse community of students from other countries, I have been given a rare opportunity to share my experiences and learn from the experiences of those around me. There is no right way to adapt to culture; however, there are better ways and I believe that a one is by investing oneself fully in your environment.
So as I begin to settle into a new routine I have decide to be BRAVE. To not allow myself to hide in my room or make up excuses for not participating, I am going to be a risk taker. I am going to throw myself outside of my comfort zone, literally throw/hurl/ wildly shake myself out, because I do not want to miss an opportunity to learn from being uncomfortable. The funny thing about humans is that we often underestimate our own abilities. We say we can't, when in actuality we are fully capable but are simply afraid. I'm don't want to not be afraid, in fact I want to face my fears boldly and do exactly what it is I'm afraid of.
Also, Lithuania is great! And Norm says Hi.
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